Dear Sparty,
I’ve always been a straight-A student in middle school, but now that my classes are getting harder, I recently got a B on a test. Others keep saying that it’s a good grade, but I still feel like a failure and ended up crying about it for hours. Now, I’m feeling extremely anxious about my next test, afraid I might fail again. How can I stop feeling this way?
From,
Anxious

Dear Anxious,

It’s completely understandable to feel anxious after receiving a B, especially if you’ve been a straight-A student in middle school. Transitioning to high school can be challenging, and many students feel the same way. Recognizing and accepting your emotions is important; psychologists suggest it’s natural to feel upset about a grade, but it’s also essential to reframe your perspective. Rather than viewing a B as a failure, consider it a steppingstone. Psychologist Carol Dweck’s concept of a *growth mindset* emphasizes focusing on development over time, seeing challenges as part of learning. A B isn’t a reflection of your worth; it’s simply feedback on a journey that’s only just beginning.

Remember, there are many factors that affect grades, including different grading styles among teachers—some are more lenient than others. As you adjust to high school, you’ll start to understand what each teacher looks for, and this awareness will help you improve over time. Focus on progress rather than perfection, as this mindset can lead to greater happiness and confidence.

Dr. Kristin Neff emphasizes the power of self-compassion. Be kind to yourself, as you would be to a friend in the same situation. Negative self-talk only lowers self-esteem, creating an unhelpful environment. Accept compliments when they come; you’re not selfish for acknowledging your strengths. Turning down praise doesn’t equate to humility, and constant self-criticism can create negativity that affects both you and others. Try to find something positive in each experience and write it down. Repeat these affirmations whenever you feel upset, as they’ll remind you that one grade doesn’t define you

To manage stress about future tests, practice relaxation techniques like deep breathing or mindfulness to calm your mind and establish a study routine that allows you to prepare without feeling overwhelmed. Don’t hesitate to seek support from teachers, friends, or a counselor—they can provide reassurance, reminding you that one test doesn’t determine your abilities or future success. With time, you’ll gain confidence in your skills and feel more at ease with high school’s new challenges.

From
Sparty